Sunshine, lollipops & rainbows

Not really, but if you’re in the mood for that…

I read an article online today about networking (http://blogs.bnet.com/entry-level/?p=800&tag=nl.e713).  It says start a blog, just start writing.  Pretty soon your niche will develop out of that.  No need to come up with it ahead of time.

That works for me.  I’m way too much of a thinker/planner and not enough of a doer.  A lot of times it’s good to get doing so you can see what needs planning.

So, just get writing, huh?  Hmmmm…O.k., well, let’s see.  Had a good conversation with my sister today.  Our relationship has been really strained over the years.  She seems to be holding a lot of resentments towards me that I only recently realized.  (Let me fill you in here, I work as a counselor of sorts so for me not to have seen this was…maybe typical for counselors regarding their own personal relationships.)  Anyway, my sis, I’ll call her Betty-Lou, has not wanted to tell me about her personal life because she believes that I am too judgmental.  I willingly acknowledge that I have a judgmental mind.  I’ve come to realize that more and more over the last couple of years.  Prior to that, I had always prided myself on being very accepting of others.  That’s true, certainly, to some degree.  People have told me that I am a kind person, and that’s something that I really want to be, but I grew up with judgmental modeling, and I adopted that cognitive style effortlessly.  It fit me like a second skin for so long, I didn’t even know it was there.  Now I’m trying to wake up to it.

I’m treating Betty Lou much like I would an antagonistic client, avoiding advice-giving and providing a heavy dose of empathy and support.  Well, it worked.  She seemed to get some clarity regarding an issue that she was struggling with.  She came to her own realization.  It didn’t come from me.  At the end of our conversation, she remarked that it was good to talk to me.  That’s a rare comment from her.  In the past, I resented the idea that she needed me to talk to her like a counselor.  My professors had said not to counsel your own friends or family members.  I may have taken that advice too far.  What I’m providing her is really more of just a supportive listening ear, not full-fledged therapy.  That’s a common error my clients and a lot of people make:  applying a principle imprudently.  More about that another time.  Part of this blog is going to be about my own quirky thinking processes.  Some of you may be able to relate sometimes.  Until next time, good night, Sweet Reader.

Quote for the day:  “No one’s as useless as you think I am.”  (from Malcolm in the Middle)

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Tags: judgmental, Malcolm in the Middle, prudence, Seinfeld, sister, starting blog